High IQ Puns.... for POLYGNOSI B2-C1-C2 level learners

 High IQ Puns....



Acupuncture is a jab well done.
 
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
 
Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death.
 
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
 
 
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
 
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
 
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
 
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
 
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
 
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
 
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away.
 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
 
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
 
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
 
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
 
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
 
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
 
Every calendar's days are numbered.
 
A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine.
 
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
 
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
 
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
 
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
 
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
 
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
 
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
 
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

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Received Pronunciation

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  Listen to the recording at  https://www.bl.uk/british-accents-and-dialects/articles/received-pronunciation Article written by: Jonnie Robinson Themes: Diverse voices: varieties of English in the UK ,  Received Pronunciation Published: 24 Apr 2019 Variously referred to as the ‘Queen’s English’, ‘BBC English’ or ‘Oxford English’, Received Pronunciation, or RP for short, is the accent usually described as typically British. Find out more about its origins and its current status in the UK. RP: a social accent of English Received Pronunciation , or  RP  for short, is the instantly recognisable accent often described as ‘typically British’. Popular terms for this accent, such as ‘the Queen’s English’, ‘Oxford English’ or ‘BBC English’ are all a little misleading. The Queen, for instance, speaks an almost unique form of English, while the English we hear at Oxford University or on the BBC is no longer restricted to one type of accent. RP is an  accent , not a  dialect , since all RP speaker
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Shocking Origins of Some Common Words

If you love language as I do, you will find the etymology of the following words fascinating. Bankrupt The Medici family, also known as the House of Medici, were the original mob bosses. They came to power through their success in commerce and banking in fifteenth-century Florence. Outside Lorenzo de Medici’s palace and every other wealthy Florentine, was a long bench where merchants sat and discussed financial business with their clients. These benches, called banco, later referred to the business themselves — what we call today “banks.” When merchants went out of business, they broke their benches to signify that they were banco rotto — literally meaning “broken bench.” Banco rotto evolved into the English word bankrupt. So if you ever see a broken bench outside your banker’s house, better get your money and run. Editor Writers are familiar with the term “kill your darlings” — the process of cutting precious words from your writing. But editors were advocating bloodshed well befor
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How to Read a Dictionary Entry - Meriam Webster Dictionaries

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  Word Matters Podcast Episode 17: How to Read a Dictionary Entry How to Read a Dictionary Entry When you read a definition, what do you see? Is one meaning of a word more important than another? Who decides this, anyway? Join us for a deep dive into the myths and mysteries of the dictionary. Download the episode  here . Transcript (intro music – “Build Something Beautiful” by Tobias Voigt) (teaser clip) Peter Sokolowski: If you read an entry that has definitions in historical order, you're actually kind of reading the biography of the word. This is where it started. This is where it got its education. This is where it got married. (music break) Emily Brewster: Coming up on Word Matters, some dictionary demystification. I'm Emily Brewster, and Word Matters is produced by Merriam-Webster in collaboration with New England Public Media. On each episode, Merriam- Webster editors Neil Serven, Ammon Shea, Peter Sokolowski, and I explore some aspect of the English language, from the d
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